Hockey Stick Explained: Mannian Math

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Greenhouse Gases causes more than 100 % of the observed warming. Must be observing it on Mercury because this planet hasn’t seen any for 17 years. This is easily the front-runner for Top O’ Teh Twit.

H/T Tom Nelson

BUMPED: Yeah, I had to put this back on top. The Acid joke is still there–but this is way funnier.

Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

This May Well Be The Day We Say Marks The Begining Of The End For The Thermageddon Hoax

t7VBpThis may be it, because they’ve all gone stark raving batshit at once. And John Q. Public can’t miss it. He will look at this just like he looked at Howard Dean…Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Ha!!! And he will say, “These people are rat-fuck crazy.”

First we had the Marcott-Shakun Dating Service that, instead of saving the Hockey Stick, made it an even bigger laughing-stock; then we got Paul Krugman calling for AGW Denialists to burn in hell for their heresy against the Church of Carbon Come, and then McKibben went from “Weepy” to “Creepy” with the full Van Jones treatment, saying only a huge influx of illiterate Latinas from the slums of San Salvador coming here and having 17 kids can save the country because “White America” refuses to vote for Eco-totalitarianism.

And to top it off, we got Joe Rohm’s Climate Forecast

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Rat. Fuck. Crazy. Joe obviously didn’t get the memo about Marcott. Heh.

All of this–all of it, is circulating the hyperverse at the same time. This, as my father used to say, is Tobruk.

And when President Fairway continues to spout “Climate Justice” Communist doggerel, and continues to appoint loons like Hansen to falsify data so he can pretend to believe his own bullshit, even the faithful will look at him and say, “Ya know, that motherfucker’s lookin’ for a rat.”

When The Hoax Hour Is Late…

You must re-date. Yes, the latest, much-hyped “New-And-Improved Hockey Stick” that the Red Estate assures us proves global warming–though there hasn’t been any in 17 years–is in freefall. Steve McIntyre does it again with the Marcott-Shakun Dating Service.

First, from Marcott’s own PhD thesis…

thesis-short1And, after adjustments, the one published in Science magazine…

figure-1cThis may be even more damaging to the Mann Carbon Cabal than his original bogus chart because of all the “it’s true” hype. How much hype will there be when Science retracts the submission? That was rhetorical, of course.

UPDATE via Steve Goddard:

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Bwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

If All You See Is…*

A planet-killing plastic water bottle…

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You might be a Warmer/EUnuch/Socialist Eco-tard.

*A special shoutout to William Teach at Pirate’s Cove.

The Ultimate Green FAIL Symbol

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That’s right. It collapsed in Kyoto! Bwuhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

ICYMI — ClimateGate 3.0

I case you missed it Junk Science, Tom Nelson, Climate Audit, WUWT and Jo Nova, to name a few, all had 220,247 emails sent to them by FOIA…with the decryption key. No grand conspiracy funded by the Koch brothers–just one person with a conscience. FOIA speculates there is nothing earth-shattering to find there, but it’s possible…for anyone with a teraflop speed machine and the time to wade through it. Still, great job. Thanks for 2009.

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Here’s Lubos’ take. Stay tuned.

It’s Been A Year…? Feels Like 10.

bayonetYep, It’s been one year since DB vanished from the virtual vortex. No Weekly AGW Scam Updates, No Snark, No Weepy Bill Mockery, and worst of all–No Global Warming Hotties.

Oh, and the comedy material he’s missed…Hansen’s 250 feet of sea level rise, Weepy Bill’s #ForwardOnClimate Rally FAIL in 19 degree weather…the slow-motion train wreck of the EUnuch Carbon Indulgence Market FAIL…Captain Carbon selling Current TV to Jihadi mouthpiece Al Jazeera–and then being sued and investigated by the feds. Ah, the snark we’ve missed.

Hopefully, he’ll return one day. Until then, we’ll keep a light on for him…unless of course a dust storm covers the unicorn-fart panels or the bird shredder catches fire. Wait, Did I say “Weepy Bill”? Yes. Yes I did. That can only mean…DB’s Global Warming Hotties:

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And, gotta throw in a Canadian, right…?

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That might get his attention. What do you think?

A Whole New Level Of Green $camulus

carbon_particleYesterday, at Hot Air, Jazz Shaw posed the question: “How well will new Energy Secretary Moniz play with the EPA?” To me, the answer is obvious–he will play very nicely. You thought Solyndra, Fisker, First Solar and the Chevy El Fuego Volt were bad? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Why do I say that? Because, as Shaw noted, physicist Ernest Moniz’ baby is sequestration. No–not that one, Carbon Sequestration, which in non-Thermageddon-monger-speak means burying CO2 in a deep underground vault as if it were Rubidium-87.

This, as teh Aussies, Pommies and Canucks can attest, has proven to be a particularly impossible thing to do. One study said even if an underground reservoir could withstand the ever-increasing pressures of injected gas, it would have to be “the size of a small us state.”

But physicists love solving impossible problems–especially when they have nearly unlimited $$$$ to throw at them, which Moniz will. The Pommies, who admitted to “wasting $1.6 billion” on this snark hunt last year, are planning to do it again. Well, we’re Americans, dammit! We can waste more money than the Limeys–Forward!

Prediction: Here’s how Moniz will play with the EPA. The new EPA regs set CO2 emission standards for power plants burning natural gas which no coal plant can meet? He’ll get them waivers…as long as they pour money down whatever number of sequestration holes the EPA picks out of thin air. Obama gets to say, “Look, all-of-the-above!”, while making the price of the cheapest most abundant energy resource on the planet Skyrocket. Just like he said he would…

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Assclown Admiral Calls AGW Biggest Threat

artificialreefsaroundtheworld004Bigger than China’s blue water navy hassling Japan?  Bigger than the Russian navy hassling anyone they want? Bigger than Iran and North Korea lobbing nukes at us and Israel? Yep, according to Admiral Samuel Locklear, Thermageddon is the greatest military threat facing the world.

“You have the real potential here in the not-too-distant future of nations displaced by rising sea level. Certainly weather patterns are more severe than they have been in the past. We are on super typhoon 27 or 28 this year in the Western Pacific. The average is about 17.”

Well, admiral if you get your sea-level fearmongering from Grist or PuffHo, or from James “250-feet of sea-level rise” Hansen, I can see where you’d say that. However, if you look at actual data from your own naval stations, you’d realize that you just made the most asinine assessment of naval priorities since Joe Sleestak had access to a microphone.

daffyscrewballnx3

Get your shit straight or take the pension. God/King Obamandias obviously doesn’t need anyone with military experience in charge, any Women’s Studies major from NYU could utter such inanities with equal authority, and would also bring enough birth control with her to skank up the entire pacific fleet without your help. It’s a win-win.